Church of Wells/YMBBA Ministries

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9/18/2013 1:06 pm  #1

New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

I'll start off by welcoming all newcomers to Hellbound Anonymous (HA). We are here today to reveal the deep, dark things that, according to the governing body of CoW, are sending us to hell.

So, I'll start.

I'm going to hell because...

I like watching sports and believe some stars are good role models.
I believe in formal education.
I work and mentor the worldly students in the public education system; I don't like working at Christian universities.
I listen to secular bands like U2 and Rise Against.
I love good natured comedy shows/pranks.
I like fashion and treasure my collection of suits and menswear.
I play the stock market.
I'm good friends with lesbians, alcoholics, atheists, Catholics, and couples who co-habitate outside of marriage.
While working in public relations, one of my clients was a beauty pageant.

Phew. I'm glad I got that out. I feel better already.

What about you? Why are you, o' hopeless sinner, going to hell?

Last edited by Aegonis3 (9/18/2013 1:07 pm)


9/18/2013 1:49 pm  #2

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

<slowly stands, palms sweaty>

Hi. I am Hy and I am a Ha. <oh no, that sounded wrong, didn't it...>

I'm guilty of listening to Jimi Hendrix. And Bob Marley. And Damien Marley. And Ziggy Marley. And Stephen Marley. And...well, all the Marleys. And George Clinton and the P-Funk. And his granddaughter Shativa Diva, also, too. 

I also like sports and often wear unGodly short shorts. <but never spandex, I promise>

I fear that I am passionate about Kung Fu and Muay Thai and immodestly obsessed with Donnie Yen and IpMan and Tony Jaa. Also Donnie Yen's mother who's like 90 years old and can kick some serious ass and runs a Wushu school.

I struggle daily with my burden of light-heartedness and unseemly high spirits. God has convicted me mightily of my tendencies to comedic corporate sin, tongue-in-cheek humor and witty repartee. <no, wait, that wasn't God, that was a magistrate> 

I sky-dived and enjoyed it.

I have a CD player in my truck.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

Last edited by Hythlodaeus (9/18/2013 2:18 pm)


9/21/2013 3:14 am  #3

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

I went to a concert tonight. There was rock and roll music. You know, electric guitars and stuff. I danced and sang. I enjoyed myself.

I guess I have to start back at level one of HA.

     Thread Starter

9/21/2013 9:15 am  #4

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

Omigod! We have Yakuza and chaebol. Fantastic! Love this board!


9/21/2013 3:56 pm  #5

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

As previously mentioned on another page, my husband and I go to DisneyWorld for a week every year. And we LIKE it. We laugh. We have fun. AND, we still have our picture taken with every character we see.

I like watching college football. In fact, I happen to be a longtime Notre Dame fan--GO IRISH!!! I think I am one of the few Baptists in the world to cheer for a catholic school.

I watch TV and try to make it home from church on Wednesday evenings in time to see Duck Dynasty. I am thankful that God gave someone enough brains to invent DVR.

You might want to bar the door on this next one...I prefer to wear pants.


9/21/2013 5:33 pm  #6

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

Pants, Duck Dynasty, Catholics and Disney. 50 points to start.

- cheering?  +20
- TV?          +20
- sports?     +20

A job outside the home, +100.
Photos of Disney characters and yourself!!!! What!!!! Images! Idols! Animation! Devil worship! 
Zoinnnng, oops, you broke it. On the Hellometer, you are cooked.


9/21/2013 5:59 pm  #7

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

Amena wrote:

 Do past visits score points?  I've been 3 times. ;)  

No, because you might have repented since then and been savingly saved. So you'll have to go again if you want it count. You'll earn extra too, since then it's a reprobate/unrepentant AND a regression.

However, there's been a concern filed that some of you may be The Elect. If this is the case, be advised that you're cheating.

Hey, can I get extra credit over here, I just realized that Donnie Yen is wearing a dress and his mother is wearing pants... 

Last edited by Hythlodaeus (9/21/2013 6:09 pm)


9/21/2013 6:13 pm  #8

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

Did you hear me cheering? Notre Dame won!!! YAY!! GO IRISH!!


9/21/2013 6:19 pm  #9

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

LOUD cheering? Gleeful? Use of the word "yay" - +30.


9/21/2013 6:40 pm  #10

Re: New Support Group: Hellbound Anonymous

VERY loud...even woke the dog!


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